On my perception of time
Today is Wednesday, April 10, in the middle of the evening. Or is it?
One week ago today, I worked my last day at my employer of 14+ years. For the past month and a half, I knew that day, April 3, would be my last day. And I counted on a week before I actually started my Peregrination. Which would be today, Wednesday, April 10.
But a little over two weeks ago, I found that the person I wanted to see at my first intended overnight stop in Santa Cruz, was herself leaving on April 10 to travel to a professional conference. So I did what I could to start sooner. I tried to start on Monday the 8th, but that was just too fast. I DID manage to leave on the 9th, yesterday, Tuesday.
But the weeks of expecting to leave on Wednesday overwhelmed much shorter period of time that I’d changed that plan. So I found myself on Tuesday, driving down the road while calling the person I want to see in Monterey to set up our meet. But as we talked, I thought it was Wednesday, so I set up the meeting for Friday. It wasn’t until I woke up today, Wednesday, did I realize my mistake!
Thankfully, my Monterey person has a very flexible schedule and is able to meet me tomorrow, Thursday instead of Wednesday. And now I sit here in a motel in Salinas, musing on how my time sense has already changed.
I’m still leaving the 4:50 AM alarm on my cellphone on to ring everyday. Now that I don’t have to get up that early, I still want to keep my body reminded that SOME days I WILL want to be up then. Specifically Saturdays and Sundays, when I want to what Chris Hayes’ successor, Steve Kornacki, in his debut weekend of the show that used to be Up with Chris Hayes and starting Saturday will be Up with Steve Kornacki.
But my body is slowly adjusting away from my “Early to bed, VERY early to rise” pattern which has been my norm for quite a few years. Especially when I’m waking in unfamiliar places and especially this morning in my tent! It just isn’t right to be awake before sunrise when you’re camping!
I’m heading into about 7 months where, for me, the day of the week doesn’t really matter! Yes, it will factor into when I can meet the people I’m going to see – as most of them work Monday through Friday – but it’s just not the same.
That’s enough for now. No fundamental truths about myself (yet) discovered. No answer (yet) about what I want to do next with my life.
But there is some progress! At dinner last night with my Santa Cruz friends, I was asked what issues I could imagine becoming very passionate about. I listed four:
- Global Warming
- Food Justice
- Abandoning our culture of the Automobile and (related):
- Transportation Planning
We talked a bit, and of these four, I find myself most pessimistic about Global Warming. Not in the sense that Global Warming threatens to wipe out civilization as we know it (if not curbed) – which is most definitely something to be pessimistic about! But in the sense that I have grave doubts about my ability to find a way to really do something significant to counter it. My fear is that the Mainstream Media and the Right Wing Echo Chamber are both so invested in NOT reporting on it well (or deriding it from the POV of the Right Wing). And to be able to make REAL progress, I’d have to have a far wider audience and be a far more respected voice that I can ever manage attaining.
Thus of the four listed above, Global Warming seems least likely to capture my passion. My pessimism is a nearly impenetrable barrier.
Your thoughts? Please comment!